Friday, December 31, 2010


   Tomorrow is the first day of a new year. More importantly, it is my mom's birthday. She's been the same age for the last five years or so coz every time I ask her age, it's the same. Her age-defying cream must really work. It is also Eiichiro Oda's birthday too. In case you don't know, he's the guy who drew the manga for one of my favorite anime's ever, One Piece *cue theme song*.

   There is something about birthdays of people who write books or draw anime that make you really appreciate how short and fragile life really is. At any moment, they could die. And then...You will never know what happens next in the series. I know that sounds really materialistic and everything but it really bugs me. Imagine how different the end of Lord of the Rings might have been if the author hadn't gone off and died? I mean, I know he wrote down the whole history and everything but there is an image in the mind of an author that only he can write down perfectly. The current books are more like a description of something that the nephew of J.R.R Tolkein has never actually seen.

  A million times worse than that is the loose end of Charlie and the White House. I want to know what happens and yet, Roald Dahl is dead and nobody will ever be born that can take what he wrote and continue it. It sucks.

  Imagine you are on the most epic, most thrillery, most cliff-hanging episode of Vampire Dairies/Grey's anatomy/random-TV-series-that-you-watch-like-an-addict.and the episode is over and you are on the edge of your seat, wishing like crazy for Friday to come along with the next episode. and then two minutes later you find out that the series will never be continued coz the guys who were making up the plot suddenly died and left you hanging there.

  I told this depressing thought to my parents and they came up with the solution: Just ask God when you go to heaven. This seems like a really great idea until you realize that heaven is going to be so awesome, you won't care about silly things like pirates or vampires or whatever. It makes you wish there was a place where you could make a list of all the things you want to ask for in Heaven so that when you get there, you can be reminded of what your pre-heaven self wanted. And then maybe your Heaven self will be like "OK, since this person worked so hard to get me here, I might as well humor her". That would be cool. Maybe the first thing on the top of the list could be "I want curiosity about what happens next in One Piece' or something. And then your Heaven self would care!

  Anywho, my mom wants me to go to sleep. Little does she know that I'm going to stay awake till twelve and light a mini sparkler in the kitchen. But I suppose it's a good thing because otherwise, I'd never stop rambling on here.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

BS. No, not what you're thinking. I mean Business Studies...Or maybe it is what you're thinking

Sometimes, you can ignore what's going on in the world. People can piss me off and I will just assume my no-expression face and not say anything till I'm sure my next words won't be a string of curses. But then there are things that you can't just tune out. Somethings just push through the gaps of the hands you've buried your face in and slap you repetitively on the same place. And then just when you've stopped wincing and crack open your eyes, it slaps you again. Sometimes, you're the one doing it to yourself. Because you have to.

Because sometimes, you have a business assessments tomorrow.

Of course, this isn't a very regular occurrence. And that just makes it worse coz teachers think 'This may be the only test they'll take seriously for a long time! Quick, name as many chapters as you can in 2 minutes!'. This is actually a lot more than you would think. Especially when they can just go "68 to 73!' and not "sixty-eiiight, sixty-niiiinnneee, seveeenttyyyyy, seventy oonnnnneeee and seventy twooooooo!'.

So here I am studying 16 chapters of business in which 50% of the words are synonyms of objectives, 40% is something like 'strategy', 'aims' or 'tactics' which are all extremely different things, and rest is just a truckload of adjectives describing how awesome the iPhone is. And for no other apparent reason than to make me hungry, they have a random picture of KitKat Senses. And also, just like in "Where's Wally", the writers of this book have a profound sense of happiness in trying to hide the word 'corporate objective' in every chapter and it is our job to find it out and highlight it. Coz obviously anything with as big a word as 'corporate' must be important.

Also, Human Resources does not deserve so many chapters to it's name. I bet no one actually uses psychometric testing. I bet they all just check if your suit is from Jigsaw or a thrift shop and hire you based on that. Or how much gel you were able to get in your hair without looking like Ken. Or how important your briefcase full of junk food looks. Or whether or not you can curl your tongue and do that alien sign with your hands, coz that is an important feature that every business person must have.

Ok, Em Zee if getting pissy about me studying for my exam coz she is so understanding like that. I hope you have fun with your lives and achieve all your corporate objectives.
Ok, that wasn't the best hiding place.