Tuesday, December 7, 2010

BS. No, not what you're thinking. I mean Business Studies...Or maybe it is what you're thinking

Sometimes, you can ignore what's going on in the world. People can piss me off and I will just assume my no-expression face and not say anything till I'm sure my next words won't be a string of curses. But then there are things that you can't just tune out. Somethings just push through the gaps of the hands you've buried your face in and slap you repetitively on the same place. And then just when you've stopped wincing and crack open your eyes, it slaps you again. Sometimes, you're the one doing it to yourself. Because you have to.

Because sometimes, you have a business assessments tomorrow.

Of course, this isn't a very regular occurrence. And that just makes it worse coz teachers think 'This may be the only test they'll take seriously for a long time! Quick, name as many chapters as you can in 2 minutes!'. This is actually a lot more than you would think. Especially when they can just go "68 to 73!' and not "sixty-eiiight, sixty-niiiinnneee, seveeenttyyyyy, seventy oonnnnneeee and seventy twooooooo!'.

So here I am studying 16 chapters of business in which 50% of the words are synonyms of objectives, 40% is something like 'strategy', 'aims' or 'tactics' which are all extremely different things, and rest is just a truckload of adjectives describing how awesome the iPhone is. And for no other apparent reason than to make me hungry, they have a random picture of KitKat Senses. And also, just like in "Where's Wally", the writers of this book have a profound sense of happiness in trying to hide the word 'corporate objective' in every chapter and it is our job to find it out and highlight it. Coz obviously anything with as big a word as 'corporate' must be important.

Also, Human Resources does not deserve so many chapters to it's name. I bet no one actually uses psychometric testing. I bet they all just check if your suit is from Jigsaw or a thrift shop and hire you based on that. Or how much gel you were able to get in your hair without looking like Ken. Or how important your briefcase full of junk food looks. Or whether or not you can curl your tongue and do that alien sign with your hands, coz that is an important feature that every business person must have.

Ok, Em Zee if getting pissy about me studying for my exam coz she is so understanding like that. I hope you have fun with your lives and achieve all your corporate objectives.
Ok, that wasn't the best hiding place.


  1. Hahahahahahaha! This was awesome! I feel your pain, been there, done that. 0_o

  2. Stealing upar wala comment, I feel your pain.

    Though you are remarkably creative and humorous for someone who is stressed out about Business assessments. When I was stressed out about assessments I showed up at school bleary-eyed with a cup of coffee in my hand and my hair sticking out in directions that defied gravity.

    I applaud you and your blogpost.

  3. I can so imagine you like that. Except you still have a huge grin on your face :P
    *takes bow*
    Thank you thank you! *queenly wave*

  4. Omg.Rabeah that was really funny and not actually true but your assessment wasn't that bad so...yaayyy=D

  5. Ah well. That is what happens when you write when you are feeling pissy.
    We still don't know if the assessment was that bad or not coz the results haven't come out :P